HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Sometimes chasing a dream can shove aside other ambitions in life.
Such has been the case with supermodel Tyra Banks, who says that her dreams of becoming a mother became more difficult once her career started to roll.
"After the talk show started, and I had 'Top Model' at the same time, it engulfed me so much that it dulled my maternal instinct," the 34-year-old star of both "The Tyra Banks Show" and "America's Next Top Model" reveals to Essence magazine for its February issue.
However, the first African-American woman to grace the covers of GQ, Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue and the Victoria's Secret catalogue says she hasn't completely abandoned the thought of raising her own family.
"I hope that when I get more of a handle on my life it comes back," Banks says of recapturing her maternal instincts.
While she isn't complaining about the path that her life has taken, Banks does admit, "I'd go to work and women would be crying in my arms on the talk show. But then I'd go home and put my key in my door and ... nothing: no friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I'm at work but so empty when I come home."
Last summer, Banks decided to move production of her shows to New York from Los Angeles. Many hinted that the move was brought about so Banks could be closer to her boyfriend, investment banker John Utendahl, 50, however she is quick deny her relationship was the reason for the move.
"I'm very insulted by that rumor" she says. "I employ a lot of people; their livelihoods rest on my shows. The move to New York was a decision I made with my manager. It was not about a man."
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