Comedian Eddie Ifft: A Mixed Bag of Nuts

By Jessamyn Cuneo on April 30, 2006

Eddie Ifft, pictures, picture, photos, photo, pics, pic, images, image, stand-up, comedian, comedy, jokes, Comedy CentralThe only thing Eddie Ifft can seem to take seriously is comedy. Stand-up has magically redeemed his life. In the ten years he's been in the profession, he's exploited everything about his personality that's previously caused him to a) get suspended or expelled from every school he attended, and b) fired from every job he had.

"People love train-wrecks," Ifft says. "My whole life was a train-wreck, so why not exploit it?"

You may recognize Ifft from one of the higher-profile slices of entertainment in his portfolio. He's been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend. He was the host of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. He's performed along with Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Robin Williams and more. And you'll be sure to see more of him soon, when his recently-filmed documentary America the Punch Line is released.

Ifft's a classic Catholic-kid-gone-wrong; big heart, stellar values, excessive self-loathing, shadows of guilt, and finally, the essential razor-sharp tongue; all of which blends together in complete disharmony, and covers up quite nicely with manners and cuteness.

Recently, he's quit drinking.

"I learned how to not make my life a train-wreck," Ifft says, "and really become responsible and stuff. I just have to remember the train-wreck, and be able to recite it and talk about it."

Ifft's humor is, like him, many things all combined: Insightful; "We made a mistake when we invaded Iraq instead of middle-America." Biting; "If you've taken a picture of yourself flexing in a mirror, kill yourself." And most often, dirty and offensive; "If you rape a hooker, isn't it shoplifting?"

His favorite part of doing stand-up?

"Trail mix," Ifft answers, but that's really his favorite part of life. He's constantly feeding the addiction. Everywhere he goes, he leaves behind a little trail of cashews, M&M's and peanuts, along with his memorable jokes.

"No, probably the lack of responsibility and accountability," he continues. "I'm only responsible for myself, and usually what comes out of my mouth can only affect me."

Ifft chooses subject matter and style based on what appeals to him. And he loves offensive humor - the more offensive, the better.

"The jokes that make me laugh are the most offensive ones," Ifft says. "I don't think you could offend me. I'm willing to look at or watch anything, but that's not going to change my value system. But yeah, I've really offended people. I'm an idiot, I admit it."

Well, hey, at least he's honest. Which is more than the crowded world of lying bastards can say.