Hear ye, hear ya, all loyal subjects of McKinley High: please bow down for the return of Lord Tubbington. That’s right, the world’s fattest feline belonging to Brittany S. Pierce (Heather Morris) made his brief but royal return on the latest installment of FOX’s Glee.
After “Sadie Hawkins” when Jake (Jacob Artist) and Marley (Melissa Benoist) made their official debut as a couple, the school was abuzz with this hot new duo. What better excuse would Brittany have to revisit the set of “Fondue for 2?”
Note: Spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Thursday’s episode, “Naked.”Thanks to Brittany’s entirely uncomfortable interrogation of Marley, she felt the pressure to somehow express herself to Jake. Maybe she’s not ready to jump into the sack with him, but what about those three little words?
Just a word about Marley’s interrogation: Brittany obviously made mention to her eating disorder situation. Since I wasn’t yet covering Glee for Celebuzz, I wasn’t able to touch on the fact that this was a weird way for Kitty (Becca Tobin) to bully Marley. Don’t most girls want to fatten up their competition? Like Lindsay Lohan tried to do to Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls with the Kalteen bars? The Kitty/Marley thing never made much sense to me. But there’s no need to revisit a sad time on such an upbeat episode.
Ryder (Blake Jenner) had such a dead on moment when he told Jake, “Chicks dig hot guys who will get naked for a calendar, but what chicks really want is a guy who will get naked emotionally.” Yes, we do.
Jake and Marley were supremely cute this week. First in their duet of “A Thousand Years” and then in Jake’s panty dropping version of Ne-yo’s “Let Me Love You.” If Marley didn’t admit she loved him after that performance I was ready to bulldoze her off the set and take her place. How many people melted watching that? Mini Puck is officially hotter than the Original Puck. Sorry Mark Salling.When not singing their emotions out the rest of the cast was busy beefing up and worrying about the Men of McKinley sexy calendar. FOX publicity feel free to send one to me at home, thanks so much. Question, would Mr. Shu (Matthew Morrison) have gone for this money-making idea if he were still running the glee club? Also Sue (Jane Lynch) took a bunch of horse tranquilizers and did her own spread in Penthouse? What? Excuse me, I need to go bleach my memory.
Luckily, since Finn (Cory Monteith) didn’t have any ethical problems with a sexy calendar of high schoolers we got an hour full of eye candy. Kitty’s remark about how women are the target audience because we’re the consumers was so dead on. Twilight really is poo on paper that we turned into a billion dollar industry.
I felt bad for Sam (Chord Overstreet) that he felt like such a moron. After all, he was the mastermind behind the idea that the Warblers were using performance-enhancing drugs for Sectionals and got them disqualified! If that never happened, there wouldn’t have been Regionals to worry about paying for. I’m glad his bestie Blaine (Darren Criss) helped him realize that some scores on a test aren’t everything. I’m also glad that Blaine’s crush on Sam is nowhere near as obvious as Tina’s (Jenna Ushkowitz) still is on Blaine. Down, girl.It was great to see Santana (Naya Rivera) and Quinn (Dianna Agron) even if their trio with Rachel (Lea Michele) kinda had nothing to do with the episode. I even loved Santana’s quip about how much she was enjoying New York. Ryan Murphy, is that a hint? We miss Santana!!! Who else could deadpan so effectively to Rachel that you just do not get topless for a student film because it’s gonna suck anyway?
I just want to defend New Rachel here for a second. She’s so much hotter and more confident than old Rachel and I for one do not miss that Finn-obsessing, schoolgirl-dressing, prudish, stick in the mud old Rachel. I love New Rachel. So calm down with that Kurt (Chris Colfer). However, I would not be cool with anyone else’s naked ass making direct contact with my kitchen chairs no matter how hot they were.
OMG: The Men of McKinley Calendar. Yes, please.
Thank You, TV Gods: I love a good 90s throwback like “Torn.” Plus, I’ve missed Lea Michele’s voice.
Awkward: Sue having done a Penthouse spread. That’s all.
Hotness: Jake singing “Let Me Love You.” He gave Ne-yo some serious competition. Watch it again above.
Fabu-lous: The idea that Santana could possibly end up in New York.
Can. Not. Wait: Diva-off between Rachel and Kurt. It has never disappointed before, so I’m thoroughly looking forward to the next round.
Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8, great set list and great eye candy!
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